I often struggle when I write. Show me a writer or artist that doesn’t and I’ll show you a miracle in the flesh! Sometimes I am blessed with writing prompts but more often than not, I must come up with something that speaks to me to write about and let it develop into a piece I deem worthy of sharing. Many times, I’ll write something and get to a point and just decide, “Nah, that’s not what I want to say.” Or the message isn’t as clear as I need it to be and I scrap it and start all over again. This has been my challenge the last few months. I am a deadline oriented writer and tend to work better under pressure for the most part. The tighter the deadline, the better the piece, which can be good or bad depending on who you ask. In many ways, writing is my voice so to speak.

As I sit here watching cartoons with my cat, smoking a joint, and reflecting on the holidays, the elections, and community, a quote from a kids' show called “Phineas and Ferb” sent me into a rabbit hole of why I love villains and antiheroes. The quote was, “A hero is a hero, but everybody loves a great villain.” As a Black, non-binary, Trans feminine person, my existence is often used as a scapegoat for ignorance and justifications of people's rage, without them knowing who I am and only being concerned with what I am. How long must all of my communities endure this? Let’s not forget that intersectionality is real; I’m not just fighting racism; I’m fighting sexism, transphobia, homophobia, ableism, and the list goes on. Like many people in marginalized communities that I share space with, all we want is to live a happy and free life. The reality is that most of us are surviving, and the few of us who are thriving are told we should be grateful for the bare minimum that many of our counterparts take for granted.

Written by: E.L. Winston

Happy New Year, peeps! I hope that your holidays were filled with love and comfort and all the things you wanted and needed. My new year is starting off a bit stressful but exciting at the same time. See, I have this tumor in my left thigh. It’s been there for at least 9 years now. Yes, I said 9 years.

Let me explain…it started out as a lump no bigger than a baseball. I went to the doctor and the doctor said that it’s because I need to lose weight. That’s all he said. He didn't run any tests, didn't look any further… fast forward a year or two from that visit and I start a new position at work that requires me to get in and out of semi trucks all day. On my first day on the job, my leg swells up to the size of a softball. I go back to the doctor and he says, “Oh no you have lymphedema. You're going to need this reduction kit and have to wear it constantly to get the fluid off your leg.” Again, he didn't do any tests, didn't do anything further and still says that weight is a factor. Needless to say the kit never worked. So here we are. Let me tell you what the cause of my tumor was not. It was not my weight or lymphedema and had the doctor taken the time to listen to me then what would have been a simple procedure Is now a major surgery. The mass is now the entire length of my thigh and I’ll be laid up at home for the entire month of February.